9.10.2009

The One Where I Dig Deep

Watch out, it could get messy.

Razor Status: Dormant
Days Since Last Eyebrow Wax: 14 (but I have been tweezing)
Hubby's Mood: Cranky

Yesterday was a really hard day for me. I have been back at work for a week and a half now and things are so different. People are acting different and I'm feeling like I'm less welcome by people who I thought I was friendly with. And it's not one person either. I don't know what's going on.

I have always been a people pleaser. I strive to make other people happy and I struggle with making a decision that will upset people. Especially people I'm close with. I don't like confrontation and I'm more likely to back down than I am to stand my ground. As you can imagine, it's stressful and I have been taken advantage of more than once. The worst part is, I'm often this way towards people who could care less. It's usually the people who I'm trying to keep happy who are the ones who get upset easily and don't care that I'm making an honest effort.

It's hard for me to be this way. I stress about it and I cry about it. I did a lot of crying yesterday. More than I should have but I'm sure some of that was fueled by hormones. I want to say that I will stop caring what people think about me. I want to say that I will take on this whole new attitude. And I will try. It's just really hard to change something that is such a fundamental part of who you are. But like I said, I will try.

1 comment:

  1. oh man, i have been there. sorry that you're having a hard time *hugs*. when i went back to work from maternity leave, it was very different...and i only lasted 3 more months after returning. people that i thought were friends looked at me like i had done something wrong. i was hurt for a long time, but i realized that they weren't truley my friends. i'm better off without those people and that job. i'm not saying the answer is quitting you job!! you'll know what is right for you. hang in there :o*

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