This post may get graphic. Consider yourself warned.
It’s time to come together. We are women and we need to be there for each other. Whether we are working moms or stay at home moms, we are over worked and under appreciated. Despite our best efforts, we have yet to close the wage gap. We are objectified and criticized. We have expectations to meet that are near impossible, yet we somehow manage. Our day is spent in rush hour, at work, in rush hour again, at soccer practice, at ballet recital, at PTA meetings, bake sale prepping and husband coddling and at the end of the day we have no time for ourselves.
So please, we must come together and support each other. We are the only ones who will look out for us. Please read the following PSA and keep other women and mothers in mind while reading.
-Stop cutting me off on the highway. I’m sorry that I don’t drive as fast as you like but cutting me off to get one more car ahead in line at the exit that’s backed up for 18 miles will not get you to work any faster. And news flash: you’re not the only person rushing to get to work on time. That’s why it’s called “rush hour”. So sit your ass in line and wait like everyone else!
-If my brownies taste better than yours at the bake sale, don’t get pissed. Pay me a compliment and strive to do better next time. This Battle of the PTA Moms bullshit is getting old.
-If you have the upper leg strength to hover, I respect and admire that. But please, for the love of God, wipe down the toilet seat when you’re done! I don’t have the hovering abilities so when my fat ass drops down on that seat, I really would like for it to be dry.
-Take the “My Kid can Beat up Your Honor Student” bumper sticker off your car. It’s trashy and it’s not funny anymore. And are we really teaching our kids to be bullies? Really.
-I know what feminine products look like. I don’t need to see yours in the disposal container in the bathroom stall. Wrap your shit up, please!
-Quit with the "mommy wars"!. It's none of your business whether I have a baby hanging off my boob or not. If I want to give him/her formula, it won't kill them. In fact, they will be full and happy and will continue to grow. If I want to lop off the tip of my son's penis in a barbaric and grotesque tradition, I will. He will heal and have no memory of my horrific parenting decision. If I want to contribute to the decline of the environment by using disposable diapers, I will. Consider it my contribution. And NONE of this is anyone's business but my own!
-And quit bickering over who has it worse. Working moms are away from their kids all day every day during the week. It sucks. Stay at home moms can’t get away at all. It sucks. Seriously, does it matter who has it better or who has it worse? No. So I’ll tell you what I tell my son. Get over it!
Please note that this is a completely snarky commentary on every day things that just piss me off. I do NOT want to harm my children, destroy the environment or run psychotic motorists off the road. Well, that last one... nevermind.