Top 10 Thing I Learned at Work
There are some things in life that can't be taught. You have to learn them through experience.
These are the top ten things I learned at work.
1. Never underestimate the douche-baggery of the company you work for.
2. Or the douche bags who run it.
3. Personal days are only to be used at the discretion and convenience of the company you work for.
4. Sick days are not to be used when you are sick. They are only to be used when you are dead. For at least 6 hours. Make sure you call in before you die to let them know.
5. If you come in early or stay late, it will not be acknowledged or recognized in any form. At all.
6. If you come in or leave on time, it will be held against you and reflected in your review and your raise.
7. Do not expect a raise or a bonus, regardless of what your manager, their manager or their manager's manager has promised you.
8. If you take any time off, it will be held against you. This includes time off for disability, maternity leave, care of family or bereavement. Or if you die. You will be written up for dying without proper notice.
9. Satan is a woman.
10. She lives and works in New Jersey.