I've Been Dooced

If you're a blogger, you know who Heather Armstrong is and you probably know the definition of "Dooce".

Well, on April 30th I was Dooced.  They told me it was "due to the economy" (read: "We really needed an excuse to let you go and these days the economy is a pretty good scapegoat").  I'm not entirely convinced that it wasn't at least partly due to this post, which I have republished for you entertainment purposes.  And while I do have regrets about not telling my former employer to go fuck themselves in a rant reminiscent of "Half Baked", I have no regrets about writing that post.  In fact, I'm quite proud of it!

Either way, being laid off has it's advantages.  Mainly, it was an escape from the fiery pits of hell that came with severance pay and unemployment benefits.  Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be a leach on our government and I would love to land a decent job.  In fact, I send out about 10 resumes every day, but ITE (In This Economy) that's just about as effective as telling an interviewer to kiss your ass. 

Anyway, here's my Top Ten list of things that I have noticed since my layoff.

1.  Unemployment is awesome for my tan.
2.  Unemployment allows more time for me to work on my muffin top.
3.  My brown thumb is now green.
4.  My house is perfect organized clean cleaner now that I'm home.
5.  I have more time to blog with my kids.
6.  I can stay up past my bedtime since I don't have to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn.
7.  MuffinTopDaddy is probably happier that I don't have to be up at the ass-crack of dawn (hint, hint, wink, wink).
8.  I have memorized the opening theme song (and many of the episodes) of the entire Nick Jr. line up.
9.  It only takes 3 weeks of being home with a toddler and a baby before you start to lose your mind.
10.  It only takes 4 for it to be completely gone.

Now if I could only start to make some money from blogging, I would be all set! Maybe I can be the next Heather Armstrong.  Maybe not.


  1. So you're receiving unemployment, I guess? You're welcome! KIDDING. I hope you find something soon! Good luck! (now I have to go read the post you linked to).


  2. Good luck with all that, the tanned muffin top is looking awesome.

  3. Uh, so is there something wrong with me that it took me only a few days being home with the kids to completely lose my mind?!

  4. HA! I especially love number two, cracked me up!


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