9.09.2010

I'll Take a Dozen Eggs, Please.

I have a question.

Does anyone have a good reason why us women have to have a period everyfuckingmonth?  I mean, really.  Most women have anywhere from 2-4 kids.  If you're feeling ambitious, maybe more, like this brave woman.  But even if you're like her, that means you only actually use those eggs eight times in your life.  And if you don't go through menopause until you're about 60, then we're talking about roughly 45 years of periods.  Times 12 months in the year.  You do the math.  That's a lot of fucking eggs.  Who needs that many eggs?  I mean, besides Michelle Duggar.  I'm just wondering.

Not only are we suffering through our monthly gift but we're also subjecting our families to the wrath of Aunt Flo.  The bitchiness, the attitude.  The get-the-fuck-out-of-my-way-before-I-bite-your-fucking-head-off-because-I-feel-like-a-black-widow-and-they-do-shit-like-that-don't-they.

All I'm saying is this.  God, we have to wipe snot, pick up toys, to laundry, carpool kids, bathe, nurse, swaddle, do dishes, dust, vacuum, scrub, wipe and mop.  You couldn't cut us a break?  Seriously?  Men have to mow the lawn and take the garbage out.  And occasionally bust out a screwdriver but let's face it, women are pretty handy with tools, too.  I wouldn't object to my husband have a monthly period.  I mean, he's on the rag once a month anyway, you might as well give him the breakouts, bleeding and cramps to go with his bitchy attitude.  And if that's too much to ask for, I'll take a dozen eggs.  That's how the grocery store sells them so it only makes sense.  I'm just saying.

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2 comments:

  1. God does have a sense of humor. My husband has 5 daughters, plus me, his wife. My older girls and I do not share cycles. We are all off by one week exactly. He gets PMS and tears at least once a day from one of us. So there you go.

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  2. This is going to seem really personal for a first-time commenter. So in an attempt to reduce awkwardness, Hi, I'm Nicki, found your blog through RTT, liked it, clicked around, found this, COMPLETELY AGREE.

    A great friend of mine ("great"=comfortable enough to talk about my menstrual cycle) is a doctor and told me there's no biological reason to have a monthly cycle. At all. You can skip all of them and still be fine.

    SIGN ME UP, said I. Changed birth control, blah blah, BUT I STILL GET A PERIOD. Just...y'know, less of one. For longer.

    Curse you, men. That's the last time I believe anything you say about menstrual cycles.

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