Can someone please explain to me why my kids feel the need to scream all.the.time? Seriously, you would think that they would have lost their voices by now. If it’s not “I’M HUNGRY!!!” then it’s “GET ME JUICE!!!” or “SHE’S NOT SHARING!!!” It’s like there is no such thing as volume control. Like, that button was busted the day I gave birth. And what’s worse is my kids sit and watch Dora or Diego (or sometimes, if Nick Jr. is feeling especially sick and twisted, BOTH) and these stupid animated brats are screaming to my kids on TV. And when they ask them a question, they scream “LOUDER!” No! Stop telling my kids to scream louder. Mommy has a migraine and I’m going to need something stronger than my usual glass of wine to get me through the evening before I snap and have to be committed. On the other hand, I could really use the peace and quiet that a padded room would provide. Maybe I should try to incorporate insanity into my whole parenting strategy.