Muffin Top Monologues
Venturing into my 30's, reflecting back on my 20's, rediscovering me.
It's A Miracle!
I'm skinny again.
I fit into my size 6 jeans again.
My stretch marks have disappeared.
My hair has developed perfect natural highlights.
My complexion is completely clear and smooth.
My house is clean, my garden is beautiful and my children are well behaved.
Fuck April Fools Day.
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