And I do this every.single.day

My morning:

1:30 am - The Kid starts yelling at me from upstairs that he wants to come down.  I race up the steps (trying to avoid breaking my neck on a toy or tripping up the steps) to get him to shut the hell up quiet down before he wakes up his sister.  He falls back asleep in our bed.

1:35 am - The Princess starts crying because her brother woke her up with his middle of the night temper tantrum.  I stumble back up the steps to get her.  She goes back to sleep in her Pack n Play in the living room.

2:30 am - The Kid kicks me in the ribs.

2:45 am - The Kid kicks me in the back.

3:00 am - The Kid kicks The Hub in the ribs.  Some early morning cussing commences.  The Kid sleeps through it, thank goodness.  I gently reposition him to ensure minimal foot assault.

6:30 am - Foster dog wakes up and starts pacing the house.  I get up to let him out so he can pee before he creates a river in the dining room.  I lay back down in bed.

6:45 am - Foster dog wants to come in.  I get up and let him in.  He does the wet dog shake, making enough noise to wake up The Princess.  She starts crying to be let out of her Pack n Play.

6:46 am - The Kid wakes up from all the commotion.  Whining ensues.

6:47 am - I pee.  And listen to The Princess scream outside the bathroom door.  I contemplate locking the door and staying in there all day.

6:48 am - I realize that my phone and computer didn't make it into the bathroom with me and I won't survive a whole day in there without them.  Oh, and food.

6:50 am - I emerge from the bathroom and put on a pair of pants.  The Hub is still sleeping.  I want to kick him in the shins.

7:00 am - I get the kids their milk, but not before spilling an entire cup all over the kitchen.  Crying ensues and the fact that I cannot snap my fingers and have the mess cleaned up and a new cup of milk in their hands makes for fun early morning drama.

7:05 am - Spilled milk is cleaned up and kids have their cups.  I finally pour myself a cup of coffee.

7:06 am - The kids each want a Pop Tart.  I give it to them and lock them in the living room with the baby gate to ensure my sanity won't be further damaged the dogs won't eat their food.

7:08 am - I turn on the news.  The Kid complains for the next 22 minutes about being forced to watch the news.  God forbid he play with his toys.

7:15 am - Fuck!  I realize that I forgot about my cup of coffee sitting on the counter in the kitchen.

7:30 am - I'm tired of listening to The Kid ask me every 30 seconds when the news is going to be over.  I switch the TV to Nick Jr. and lose myself in social networking and coffee.  The Hub is still sleeping.

Christ, I've only been up for an hour.  I need a nap.

Dammit!  I haven't even changed their diapers yet!

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