3.10.2011

Top ten (not so subtle) signs The Hub wants to have sex

Unfortunately, most men are clueless about the art of subtle hints. The Hub is one of those men. Sometimes I can't help but laugh at some of the things he does or says when he's in the mood that he thinks are subtle that are completely transparent.

1. Slap on the ass - Sorry baby, you couldn't be more obvious.

2. Lays in the middle of the bed - Normally you lay so far away from me that I worry you're about to fall off the bed. When I come in the bedroom and your'e laying abnormally close to my side of the bed, I know what's in store for me.

3. Has a drink - You doesn't drink often but when you cracks open a cold one (or worse, pours himself a drink) I know that you've got big plans for later.

4. Offers me a drink - Sweetie, I may act like I don't want you to touch me, but you don't have to get your wife drunk to have sex. Foreplay would be just fine.

5. Suggests "date night" - When you suggest something so out of the ordinary, I know it's because you have an agenda. But I'm not complaining. Thanks for wining and dining be before trying to get me in the sack.

6. "Hot date tonight?" - When you notice my outfit enough to suggest that I'm meeting my boyfriend for a date, I know my plan worked. Now drop your pants!

7. Making fun of me - Remember when your mom told you that if the boys are making fun of you it means they like you? Well, that goes for husbands, too.

8. Asks me if I'm coming to bed - Ok, so maybe you want to know if you should shut the TV off, but normally you're really asking "can we have sex tonight?"

9. Cuddling - Normally you act like my skin is made of acid and won't come anywhere near me. Remember the "middle of the bed" thing? Yeah. So when you nuzzle up to me in bed, I don't need to feel you poking me in the back to know why.

10. Nothing - Let's just face it. Sometimes it's a surprise.  Good job!

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