1.31.2011

While we're at it, let's cure cancer!

I woke up this morning with a pimple on my eyelid.  I'm not sure if that's what a stye is, but to me, there's no other word for a freaking zit on my freaking eyelid.  That little bastard hurts!

My husband had a pilonidal cyst a few years back.  That's just the fancy term for "really painful cyst on your ass tailbone."  He was a miserable jerk trooper for the week he had it and finally scheduled surgery.  Then, his grandmother got wind of his pain in the ass ailment and promptly assured him that she would pray the rosary for his recovery.  And she did.  The next day, the cyst was gone.  Seriously.  Gone.  No surgery required.

I think I might hit her up for a quick number for my eye.  And when she's done with my eye, maybe I'll have her work on cancer.  You can thank me later.

Share |

1.27.2011

You might think I'm talking about the dog...

Is there a reason why I have to put up with the begging every time I sit down with some sort of food item?  I mean, I don't think it's too much to ask to have a simple snack without having to fend off the scavengers.  Really, it's annoying.  And she acts like I don't ever feed her.  It doesn't matter what I'm eating.  A banana, a cup of yogurt, chips.  Nothing is off limits.  You would think that I'm talking about an annoying dog sitting at my feet, drooling and whining.  No, it would be my 18 month old Princess.  The second she sees me walk into the room with food, she's on me like flies on shit.  Is it bad that my daughter begs worse than my dogs?

Share |