$0.99 for 5 books? Not too shabby! But what's the fine print? I only have to buy 4 books in the next year? That doesn't seem so bad! I can get one of my 4 now for only $5.99? Ok, deal.
So I picked out my books, which included Jaci Burton's The Perfect Play and Changing the Game. Now, I can't stress to you how many women have been fantasizing over the covers of these books. Don't believe me? Have you SEEN the covers? Because if you think I'm exaggerating, why don't you take a look for yourself. I'll wait while you oggle.
Now do you understand? But wait, there's more where that came from. Because Taking a Shot is due out in February. Care to see that one? Yeah, I thought so!
So now that you're all hot and bothered and completely distracted from the point of this post, I'll continue.
So I'm getting all giddy with excitement that I'm getting both of these deliciously delicious (no, that's not a typo) books in addition to four other books for only $6.98. I mean, The Perfect Play is like $15 alone so I'm all "Score!" and ready to click "confirm" on my order. But then I look at my total and it comes to $32 and now I'm all "What the fuck?"
Sure, the books are practically free but then they rape you on the shipping! Seriously? $25 for shipping? You have got to be kidding me! There is a "shipping rebate" at the end of the transaction but I'm sure you have to sign up for some shit that no one wants. So I click the back button just to make sure I did everything right and when I click on total again, there's no shipping. So now I'm all, "Yahoo, let's get this party started!" but when I click on confirm, it doesn't ask me for my payment info like it did before. It just tells me "Thank you for enrolling, your membership is under review" or something like that.
Now I'm confused. Is this some sort of elite membership club? Will they review my selections and be all "Ew, this chick is a smut whore. We don't want her as a member." Because that would be way judgmental and so not cool, Doubleday. I'm just saying.
So here I sit, like a high school senior waiting on her acceptance letter to Harvard except the high school senior is a smut whore and Harvard is a frickin online book club. What the fuck?